I Never Thought
by smiles2go
Summary: Jack's thoughts at the Mirror scene when Alice refuses the ring for the second time.


_Jack's thoughts at the Mirror scene when Alice refuses the ring for the second time._

**I Never Thought**

I never thought you'd say no, turn down the chance to be my Queen. You know how many women would give anything for that opportunity? Duchess has planned on being Queen for years, but I chose you Alice. I wanted you.

I never thought I'd care about you. When Caterpillar showed me your photo and offered me the mission to bring you to Wonderland, something stirred in my heart. I learned very young not to show any emotion or Mother would use it against me. But I can't help myself when it comes to you.

I never thought about how other people lived, never cared. In your world, for those few weeks, I could relax and be someone else. Someone who could have fun and do what they wanted. Someone who could kiss a pretty girl and take her out dancing. Kiss you Alice. Hold you in my arms and dance with you without having to look over my shoulder every second. Someone who could be a man, not a prince.

I never thought about the price of being a prince, till I wasn't one. Every word, every move carefully scripted. A prince must do this, a prince must do that. I was never a son, never a little boy—just a prince. Mother's little prince. There was never any love in the palace. I must admit I was very good. Mother suspected, but she had no proof.

I never thought you, a pretty little Oyster, could take Mother down. How easy you made it seem, when we'd been trying for years and years. You even had the idea that brought down the whole Casino. Why didn't any of us think of that?

I never thought Mother would sentence me to death. I knew she was psychotic, but I'm her son. Her only son. Guess I didn't see how far on Tea she was gone, how far into her own little world she lived. I didn't think my stepfather would cross her even to save me, and he didn't.

I never thought my father, my stepfather would let her go so far. In the beginning, he had control. He started wars, wiped out the knights, built empires just to make her smile. Then he had to spend all his time cleaning up after her….messes. Eventually, it came to a point where he didn't care if he lived or died. Is that what happens when you love someone who doesn't give a damn about you? Is that what's going to happen to me?

I never thought I'd be so sorry for lying to you, to anyone. But really, Alice, you wouldn't have believed me if I'd told you the truth. I wanted to tell you a dozen times. I was just supposed to go there and get you. I wasn't supposed to know you, love you. That was all me, not part of the plan, Caterpillar's plan. But I was having so much fun, and I wanted to be with you. You loved me Alice. Loved me for being me, not because I'm a prince. You know how good that made me feel? I wish I could turn the clock back.

I never thought there'd be no love for me in your eyes. In your world, there was happiness and love when you looked at me. It was a heady feeling and made me feel like a real prince for once in my life. Your prince. I miss that Alice. I miss you.

I never thought I'd have to do a song and dance to convince you to give me back the ring. I gave the damn thing to you in the first place, remember? Wanted you to come and meet the family. What a joke.

I never thought I'd find you kissing another man. I came to Charlie's camp to rescue you and there you were, in his arms. That scruffy Tea Seller. What did he do, what did he say Alice, to take the trust out of your eyes, to make you kiss him. Was that his price? To hide you, protect you? Did he make you promises, Alice? His hands were all over you and you just stood there and took it. It sickened me Alice, to see him touch you. And then you didn't want to let him go. He's nobody Alice, just a dirty little nobody.

I never thought you'd choose a scruffy looking nobody, a conman, over me. He ran a Tea Shop Alice. You know what that means. You must know what he's done. Why?

He can't offer you anything. I can give you anything you want. He's not better looking than me, talks with that ridiculous low-class accent, wears that stupid looking hat. He didn't have the courtesy to comb his hair or shave. He didn't have the courage to ask you stay. I did. We could've been together Alice. Ruled Wonderland together.

I never thought

/

_AN: I know it says in the commentary on the dvd that Jack was never supposed to love Alice, just conning her, but if you look at his face when she says no, it's kind of a stricken disbelief. He might like the Duchess, but perhaps more in a friend that's always there kind of way. She has to tell him she cares about him after she gets him out of the eye room….he doesn't kiss her or anything. And she's not in the Mirror scene, not there when Jack is asking Alice. Course those Wonderlandians have no emotions. 'Cept Hatter and Charlie and Dodo. They sure got enough. LOL_

_This is in response to a challenge from Brumeier. Here ya go. Tell me what you think. Please R&R_.


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